OH GOD: Not another religious website 'chopping' away at gays!

As the grandchild of a lumberjack, I am sincerely offended. Chopping? Really?
Read on.









Step One: Go to this site, so you know what I'm talking about.
http://www.lovegodsway.org/
Step Two: Turn on some angry 'gate way' music.
Step Three: Continue reading.

Thank you.


C.H.O.P.
Changing Homosexuals into Ordinary People.

The anger and astonishment provoked by this hip new acronym for all the cool christian kids has not only made me severely dizzy, but tempts me to quote fellow Canadian Avril Lavigne's song "Anything But Ordinary" but on second thought, I won't go there.

Just, Look at the ADs they have! Don't you just want to put that on a can of soup? It's Slim Fast for gays! How can they put that on their site and STILL try to maintain some sort of seriousness?

Not only that, but they quote Oscar Wilde "reformed homosexual":

"Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons. We can only record its moods, and chronicle their return. With us time itself does not progress. It revolves. It seems to circle round one centre of pain."

Are these words supposed to make someone want to be straight? Personally, I interpretted it to validate alchoholism. Or writing poetry, much like Walt Whitman and Emily Dickenson did. Both 'reformed homosexuals' themselves.

I think they're using the word reformed where they should say Closeted. Why closeted? Becaues "God Hates Fags" still exists.

Don't forget to check out the "GAY BANDS" section. Elton John is on there twice!!!
So are the Jonas Brothers, Toby Keith "(cowboy)", The Butchies "(lizbians)", and some chick named "Kate Bush (kissed a girl)" -- Wait, is that supposed to be Katy Perry?

While you're at it, take a tour of their safe bands.
CYNDI LAUPER - Speaks at Gay Rallies all the time!
UNDEROATH - Worst Emo Band Ever. They aren't safe from themselves!
FLYLEAF - What?! Ok, they are a disputable "Christian" band, but, what? They're scary!

And to top it all off:
THE DRESDEN DOLLS
Flyleaf + Creativity - Christianity = Dresden Dolls.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the Dresden Dolls. And, hey, they are straight! They just like to wear make up and fishnet, and sing about murder and alcohol and self mutilation... BUT if straight is what makes you safe, they are most definitely happily married!

My personal favorite by them, and really if I had time for a music column I'd write loads about them, but my personal favorite is "Bad Habit" because it's the happiest song I've ever heard about cutting yourself. See:

"the ugly marks are worth the momentary gain...when i jab a sharpened object in choirs of angels seem to sing hymns of hate in memorandum"
Aww, see, they do sing about Angels after all... Totally
safe band.


Here's a really crappy live version of that song so you can get an idea of how happy this song is, and how "Safe" they are...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0aNGyPwSoM&feature=related

And because lyrics are important, read along! http://www.dresdendolls.com/downloads_n_lyrics/lyrics/badhabit.htm


ANYWAY, I figured I'd share this insanity with you guys for two reasons:

1) For a laugh, or a scream
2) TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
Anything. Tell your friends, point out the innaccuracys of EVERYTHING.

Personally, I chose to write a blog.
And while I wrote that blog, I wrote two emails from two different addresses.

1. One simply said "check your facts" and had a link to these sites:
1) http://www.beyondexgay.com/
2) http://www.news-medical.net/?id=20718
3) http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/facts_mental_health.html
of some pretty good arguments for homosexuality that this guy didn't even touch.

2. The other email said "I HATE GAYS" and told them to list Relient K, Chevelle, and Carrie Underwood under their gay bands.
Hahaha! My three favorite Christian artists thrown right there on the gay band wagon!
So keep an eye out for them!


OH and before you go, check this out!

Right under their FEEL THE MIRACLE Music Video, they have a little link to their shop, reminding us gays that right under heterosexuality, money is also important.

Oh! Oh! Homoaroma Therapy Candles! Mmm! Cures my same sex attraction with every whiff!

It even says PURCHASING GOD'S WAY! I didn't know there was such a thing!

...

This has to be a joke. Thoughts?
-Theo